On Interracial Relationship
The reason why I’m writing this feeling is because someone recently asked me if I was planning to convert for my bf and it kind of shock me. People assume that, because we are of different faiths, we must have major problems in our relationship. Well I say, a relationship will have major problems if they don’t put God as the center of their relationship , disrespect each other, cheat, let other people intrude in their sovereign union, or not understanding each other. No matter how law-abiding or religious you are with all the Phd in Divinity diploma you have , if you can’t love just how Jesus loves the filthy people , then you’re no different than the Pharisees. Can you tell me a Jew who perfectly followed all their rules? Can you tell me a single priest or pastor who never committed a sin?
It’s so sad that there are some people who are still ignorant, invasive in commenting and questioning about the path that you take. It’s just frustrating what they think that he’s not good enough for me. I hope that my real friends will just be happy for me instead of burying me ten feet below the ground. But I know they will never be happy. It’s okay. Life must go on.
How I wish that people would understand that he and I are together because we decided it, just like most people do. I didn’t ‘have a thing for Arab guys. In fact I hated them for treating my countrymen bad. I know not all Arabs but like 90% of them are just crazy. He wasn’t looking for a girl like me to make his life easier either. I’m just a simple woman and he’s just a simple man. We both want nothing but peace, love, respect and understanding. Who says life is easy? All of us are going to undergo difficulties! It has nothing to do with him being Arab and me being south East Asian . We love each other and we make each other better every day. I want you guys to know that not all Muslims are bad just like not all Christians are good. I took him in the church hoping that he’ll see how very welcoming Christians are- that we love people regardless of their beliefs , culture, social status , skin color and political views in life. I wanted to show him that not all Christians are like the crusaders who killed their ancestors. I wanted to show him that there is love , peace and harmony in the church and that Christians are friendly , not judgmental and self-righteous. But do you know what hurts more? It’s when he said, “ I don’t feel like I’m welcome. Is it because I’m a Muslim? Is it because I look like a terrorist? Is it because I have beard and it looks disgusting? Or is it because they don’t like me like that?”
I was taken aback. My heart got crushed. I was crying inside. Honey, it’s not like that. How could he feel like that? I mean he’s not a type of person that seeks attention and demands that he should be welcomed but it’s just so sad to think that some people doesn’t know how to reach out people. I don’t know, though. So I can’t force him to go to church when he doesn’t feel welcome. I mean if I’m not welcome coz I’m dating a Muslim man or if we are not welcome in the church then we probably don’t belong there.
I always tell him that it was a misunderstanding and that people are just busy or shy whatever but yeah, first impression lasts. I also received some comments that he’s gonna be abusive and controlling when we get married ‘coz that’s what they’re born to be. Aren’t some people outside the Arab world treat women like that, too? Some would say that they treat women less or put me on a suicidal trip and wear bombs in my body to explode somewhere. Just what the heck , people? How dare you say that on my face? Where did you get the nerve to say them to my face? Some people would say that he’s not what God is meant for me and that they’ve have had experiences about the worst things to happen. I get it. I understand your points. In the hindsight, I know you didn’t want to cause any harm to me. In fact I hear you out ‘coz after all, I have to listen to all your words. That’s what educated-matured people do- they listen first and they don’t insist to be listened out coz no matter how hard they try to explain, it would still be useless specially when you’re dealing with a set of rules and protocols in dating .
You didn’t hear any debates or explanations from me simply because I don’t owe any explanations from you. What’s the difference if I’m with a man the same my faith and all those stuff but abuses me or treat me bad than a Muslim man? I would definitely understand if he mistreat me because he doesn’t have the same faith with me but I will never understand if the person who’s the same faith with me leaves his wife and children for someone else. We’re all bound to imperfection. It’s the grace of God that saves us all. I’m fully aware that with every decisions made , there are consequences. I do appreciate that people are worried about me. I am thankful for the advices. But please, give advices and comment when you’re asked to. You should know your limits, too. I didn’t want to be rude to you or insult you or disrespect you, guys . That’s why every time you say something , I just zip my mouth to save myself from being the worst person you’ll ever see.
I’m not defending him coz who knows we’ll just break up and you guys will just laugh at me for defending him. Heck no! What I’m trying to say is just .”Mind your own business.” We definitely have differences in our relationship that we work through, but those are not different than if we were both of the same race. We are learning constantly about each other’s indifferences. We communicate. It is God who can change a person and not me.
I don’t want to colonize people! I want them to see for themselves , ask and curious about the faith instead of spoon-feeding them. Feed someone when he’s hungry not when he’s full. I could go on but I don’t want to stress myself trying hard on something. I just want to be happy . If I succeed , I succeed . If I fail, I fail. But I won’t fail ‘coz even if I make mistakes sometimes, God is and will always be with me.
