Somewhere in the clouds.
Tonight is May 04,2013 and I am home already! I usually write the experiences I’ve been through at the end of the day (everyday) but as you can see in my profile, for the past few years (and months maybe), I have not posted any experiences of my day.. Maybe that was because I was very bitter of what happened to me for the past few years and months that caused me not to write again. But I thanked …God for saving me in those situation that I almost want to commit suicide because of that terrible experience that I just can’t mention here There were people who encouraged me and they were my spiritual siblings and spiritual mother, and few of my friends. I was also at eased when my parents understood my situation. Hehehe. I even deactivated my facebook account ( I do not know if my friends noticed it) but thank you Lord, I am well now. ( I reactivated my fb already Lol)
You see, in those dark nights, I can’t understand why God let it happen. I know He has better plans for me… I know that He knows everything! I know that He is a God and that He can do all things, I know that He owns everything, that He gives and takes away, that I don’t have the right to question Him why all those bitter days came, that I have to trust Him, but it’s just that I was facing a battle of the mind. This and those times, I wasn’t really facing the visual struggle but a struggle of battling in my mind-of deceptions,of hopelessness, and of all the “why’s” in the world.
Everyday is a battleship of fighting my own desires. I face trials and tests. I face different people with different perspective in life and sometimes I didn’t notice that I am starting to think like them- basing my decisions and standards through their opinions. I also done impulsive decisions. I made mistakes-of course! But I am convicted by the HS not to make it as an excuse,” I’m only human, that’s why I keep on doing wrong consciously and unconsciously.” Everyday, I am facing pressures specially now that I am about to work. I don’t know if I can face my parents’ expectations. But I will try my best. Oh well, truly, truly, your worst enemy is your own self. That’s why I need God to help me about this matter.
Going back to this day, (lol) I can say that it was a great day. We went to Mochit(still a part of Thailand,(bus terminal)) and bought our ticket for Krabi tomorrow. Actually we were out of ticket yesterday that’s why we took our ticket today. I, together with my Mom&Dad met tito Edsel,tita Bambie, Ciara and her love- Vesa . We went to Bangkapi Mall and I went to my favorite game-dance revo. We were planning for bowling and swimming and I just don’t know why it was cancelled again.hahha. But it’s okay, i really enjoyed this day anyway. We went to Swensen’s and then went to their (tito Edsil, Tita Bambie, Ciara’s and okay Vesa was there too) house and had our dinner with them. The fellowship with them was awesome!
